Balance starts when you get out of bed

Showing posts with label Buddhism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Buddhism. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I fell today

Walking out of the TGIF's in Bensalem PA, I was checking emails on my cell phone. Next thing I knew I was sprawled across the parking lot of the restaurant- Cell phone skidding across the lot, knees and hands skinned and a big hole in my new trousers.
A couple of people helped me up, straightened me out and set me on my way- I didn't see the step down into the parking area. Served me right. "Washing dishes when washing dishes" also means "Watch where you put your feet" and "put the fricking phone away when you are walking into a parking lot".
The universe is always teaching us-

Friday, April 6, 2007

How does love change?

Maybe it's yesterday's post about True Love Waiting.

Maybe it's Springtime.

Thinking about love and lovelorn today. Read a few blogs that made me yearn for people as they yearn.

How does love change? What are the different types of love?

I know about infatuation- fleeting, sticky and sweet.
I know the love of friendship- Warm with discovery.
I know the love of a brother- the support and good words.
I know the feeling of love of a parent to child- Unconditional (at least it is supposed to be).
I know the love of a child to a parent- difficult, sometimes judgemental, yet where our childhood rests, therefore the core of who we are.
I know the love of acceptance- taking that person for everything they are, but most importantly what they aren't.
I know the love of a long time partner- like an well worn peice of clothing- comfortable and always there- yet ragged and torn from the miles traveled.
I know the love of the dead- lost in the background, aching and always there.
I know the love of strangers- Never expected, but always welcome.
I know my attempts to give love outward, through actions and thought- Sometimes it's enough, sometimes it's not.

Still searching I guess...

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

The Labyrinth at Grailville

Today I took a few hours and visited Grailville in Loveland, OH. I have known about Grailville since we moved here 14 years ago, and I had finally run out of excuses. It was a Spring Day, I wasn't working so I grabbed my Nordic Walking Poles and headed northwards.

There was a lady there with a small child who gave me several notices of events and maps of the complex. There were different meeting halls, kitchens and sleeping areas on what was essentially a working organic farm.

I grabbed my poles and walked the hiking trails- The poles came in handy when crossing the stream and dodging muddy parts of the trail. I came upon a small gathering of benches on the far side of the stream.

The sun was bright and the leaves were sprouting on the trees. I walked up the hill and found the Stations of the Cross that were listed along the trail. Below each station was the biblical transcript of each of the stations of Jesus's path to the cross, then a modern interpretation of each one.

The Ninth Station, the one that detailed the Last Fall made me stop- We adore you, O Christ, and we bless you. Because by your holy cross you have redeemed the world.

The modern interpretation was what made me stop- It said, Even though we make mistakes, over and over again- we will still try. I would have never in a million years seen that as the meaning- but it was showing that we are all human, and it's okay to make mistakes. I felt a strange sense of comfort.

Along the last part was a farm with sheep, cows and pigs. There were some new spring lambs and calves in the field-

Then onto the Labyrinth

The Labyrinth was different than I expected. I expected it to be flagstones, but it wasn't. It was just a mowed path of grass that curved in and out in a snake like moving direction towards the center of the field.

The movement of walking through the path of grass made sense after a while. The path was uncertain, not clearly defined, symbolizing the journey of life (which is uncertain and not clearly defined).

The weird thing was you didn't dare deviate from the path either. I don't know why, even though it would have been very easy to jump the small mounds of grass and cheat. I stayed on the path and walked with my poles. I found my whole body was getting into it, I lost myself in the movement-arms, legs and focused on my breath. Before I knew it, I was in the center of the Labyrinth- which consisted of a loop.

It meant that you had to walk back the exact way you came. I don't know why, but I had always thought it was like a maze, that there would be another way out.

I started to laugh- Here I was in the middle of a grass field that I had walked almost an half an hour to get to- when I could simply walk across it again (forgetting the path) in less than 30 seconds. And I was going to spend another half hour walking back the way I came.

And underneath the absurdity was a sense of accomplishment and peace.

I walked back the same way I came- Through the Labyrinth once more!

When I walked to my car, a lady who I hadn't met before said, "There is a serious walking man" noticing the walking poles.

I smiled at her and mumbled something about "Nordic Walking Poles" which sounded strange and pretty silly. I quietly got into my car-

I drove home tired, but also relaxed and rested. I will go back there again-

http://www.grailville.org/

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Duality

It means nothing and at the same time it means everything.

When you place your plate at the table, when you adjust your chair- how you hold your chopsticks. If you get that promotion, if you lose a loved one-

The moment has its own structure- it's own importance. Every moment is an opportunity.

Think about that, every moment being an opportunity.

It means nothing and at the same time it means everything.

Detatchment from the busy mind opens this kind of awareness. That was the discussion at the Dharma center today. The duality of the moment and it's importance on our lives.

Not to say that there are not important things in our lives- there are. It's just where to put them in order of priority- They are all important, yet at the same time not important at all.

Like thoughts during meditation. What box do we keep them in- why are do they take over our minds when we practice (or worse when we try to deal with the pressures of our daily life).

The idea is calming. Let each moment come- try to identify it and cherish the moment for what it is. See the opportunity- and then let it go.

On the way home, the sun was reflecting off of giant clouds in the sky that were absolutely glorious- the sun roof was open and I was listening to a song sung by the Corrs and backed by the Chieftans-

"I know my love by his way of walking
And I know my love by his way of talking
And I know my love dressed in a suit of blue
And if my love leaves me, what will I do?

chorus:

And still she cried, "I love him the best,
And a troubled mind, sure can know no rest"

It means nothing and at the same time it means everything!

Friday, March 30, 2007

Spring Walk

It was warm.

We walked to the fish fry tonite. The boys were working there.

"E" was a runner at the fry- taking orders and running to the kitchen to get them filled. "S" was on the deep fat friers. He likes to stay there past the fish fry hours because his cousin lets him drive around the town late at night.

He is 16 and two weeks fresh with his drivers permit.

We walked behind the little one as he rode his bike ahead of us. Blooms are on all the pear trees and the smell is overpowering- It was nice to see the sun again and the heads of tulips seemed to show their bright yellow and red colors off in agreement.

Thick clumps of grass in patches still lie in many of the lawns, short semi-circled green stains marked the sidewalk from the wet wheels of lawn mowers as they made turns. The humming of mowers in the distance, the men in the neighborhood, home from work, lose themselves in their thoughts as the mowers lead them across their yards.

The discussion with Colette was about her work, their spring vacation to Atlanta, what they saw and who they stayed with. Little subjects of no consequence-but it brought a lightness to the evening.

In a week this night will be forgotten. Tonight, there was no great revelation- no great event- yet in the back of my head it will still have substance- maybe more than any other moment this week.

I often ask God to keep moments like these in a place, so I can go back and remember then when everyting seems hopeless and lost.

It's almost midnight. I am typing while I listen to my oldest boy sing and talk to the cats.

In a moment I will go up and tell him to settle down.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Compassion

A strange word.

To most people, compassion is a sense of shared suffering. It is sensing and feeling of pain that is not yours- Sometimes it exhibits itself as action in the form of altruism.

However, spiritual compassion is a different beast. Sometimes it can be defined as a form of love. Other times is a sign of pity that leads to an action.

In Buddhist terms compassion is defined as a cold, non-feeling realization that since all things are connected, your awareness should be extended to all things in the universe. Compassion to a Buddhist is an emitting a sense of peace outward to the universe. Action is not necessary.

Does compassion have a timetable? Does it always require action? Is guilt or fear the motivation behind compassion?

If that is true, if the motivation comes from a place of darkness, of fear of loss- is it still a worthy feeling?

Now some people say that you can't judge feelings in terms of worth. That they just are- there is no value system that can be attached. However, when looking at feelings of hate and of fear, I tend to think that they are less just than those of love.

If compassion comes from a place of love and awareness, is it worth more value than when it comes from a place of fear of loss or guilt?

Is compassion a luxury? Is it something that is outside the things we need to survive as a individual?

No answers-