Finally we are through the "surgery" month. Three procedures (core biopsy, lumpectomy and nodal biopsy and finally the portacath insertion). All pretty much back to back over the last three weeks. I think we are all so tired, the word cancer has lost it's power. It doesn't seem as dangerous and fearful. It's now like an old nasty relative that you have to invite to dinner every so often, just because he is part of the family
Of course that will change when the chemo starts.
Is the cure is worse than the injury? Six months of elective chemotherapy, followed by six weeks of radiation. The irony is that they are pretty sure that they got all the cancer- Her nodes were fine. The chemo is an insurance policy, of sorts.
The survival rate over 10 years doesn't improve with chemo. Maybe 2%. She is still in the 90% group, so she will be 92% after chemo.
The recurrance rate does. Almost by 7%, depending on how you work the averages. She is going to be in the 83% range of not getting it again. 83% sounds a lot better than 76%.
So would you give up a year of your healthy life for a 7% chance that you wouldn't get this disease again? That's basically the choice. The nasty part is, there is no guarantee which side she could be on- the plus side or the minus side.
The fact is that they still don't know what causes it. It feels like they are trying to cure a bullet wound with a sledgehammer. The whole cancer industry doesn't seem to make any sense to me- I feel they don't want to know the reasons, because they would find a cure if they did and the industry would die-
But hey, up until the beginning of this month I didn't know, or want to know shit about this stuff. I am no expert by any stretch of the imagination.
Anyway, back to the world again- We have about two weeks before the first treatment. I am already planning to shave my head in solidarity- which isn't as big of a sacrifice as you would think. I am already half way there!
Back to the road, back to work- back to something that appears to be normal for a little bit...
I am looking forward to it- so is she...
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4 comments:
I don't even know what to say except that I'm reading and listening and thinking of your wife and your kids, and of course you.
Be strong!
Thanks, All thoughts and good wishes are welcome. We are all hanging in there with good spirits and laughter at this point.
There is a lot of time for snuggling in two weeks....strawberries dipped in brown sugar and sour cream, a nice strong margarita for her, some slow sweet guitar chords....fourteen sunsets...
"It is the deep breath before the plunge"....Gandalf
Many many good wishes! Being able to laugh and relax a little must be wonderful. :D Ditto wombat on the strawberries...
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