The roof guy came last night- He is just going to patch it- So that is going to cost a lot less than we thought- The van was a lot less money than we thought as well.
Went to the zoo last night for the festival of lights- The zoo always depresses me. The picture on the right, "trapped" is from the cat house. The cats are always there pacing back and forth- agitated and stressed, it's like they feel it more than the other animals. You look at the photo I posted and you can just see the outline of the cat and part of the human. It's like both have lost part of their identity because of the arrangement.
Going dancing tonight- then back to watch the ball drop with neighbors on TV (the kids don't want to be out at midnight).
Anyway, gained about 4 pounds over the holdiay- Made contact with a personal trainer this weekend to help lose this last 20. Looking forward to the New Year (for a change).
More next year!
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
I am sound
By the Dandy Warhols-
For have I, I've built a castle
Upon believing before I doubt.
I have suffered but my friends say I have learned from it.
And for have I believed the snow could
Not be freezing upon the ground.
Now my ass is blue and black, but I am sound.
And for have I belonged to no one
More than fleetingly and in doubt.
I have had what now is gone
But still I've known them.
And for have I, I have absolved myself
Of demons I must confess.
Having known them growing old, then
I will rest.
But where are all the songs
For me to sing along to
When I am hoping someone writes one for me.
And sings me something sweetly
For, I promise to sing along.
And then we'll both know nothing's wrong,
Singing na, na-na-na
For have I delivered comfort
To the aching and for the tired
With these words of comic wisdom,
I have tried.
For have I, I've built a castle
Upon believing before I doubt.
I have suffered but my friends say I have learned from it.
And for have I believed the snow could
Not be freezing upon the ground.
Now my ass is blue and black, but I am sound.
And for have I belonged to no one
More than fleetingly and in doubt.
I have had what now is gone
But still I've known them.
And for have I, I have absolved myself
Of demons I must confess.
Having known them growing old, then
I will rest.
But where are all the songs
For me to sing along to
When I am hoping someone writes one for me.
And sings me something sweetly
For, I promise to sing along.
And then we'll both know nothing's wrong,
Singing na, na-na-na
For have I delivered comfort
To the aching and for the tired
With these words of comic wisdom,
I have tried.
Grinding Gears
For a vacation week, this has seemed an awful lot like a work week. Got a confirmation on a big order yesterday- A lot of emails and phone calls going back and forth between my distributor and the customer- all the while trying to enjoy the Newport Aquarium with Colette and Ethan.
One call while I was in the place where you feed the birds- which was packed to the rafters with people and grossly overfed lorikeets. Obnoxious parents beating their noisy children and while bird shit is flying makes for a difficult working environment. OSHA should really have a standard for this kind of work.
It's hard to balance personal and professional stuff when there isn't that dividing line between an office and home. There is a weird stress you try and switch from focusing your attention from the ones you love to the people that rely on you for your decision making ability professionally.
The only way I can describe it is like trying to change gears when the clutch isn't all the way down (GRRRRIIIIIIIIINNNNNNDDDDD!). Anyone who used to drive a stick shift, knows what I mean-
Tried to take some old VHS's and DVD's into the local record shop, Phils records yesterday- He didn't take anything, but I gave him a Japanese video called "Meet the Fuccons", one of the strangest videos on the face of the planet (I gave it to him because I didnt want to have it in my house anymore, it might be evil)-
He gaves us $3 off a Police Squad DVD. Thought that was pretty cool- He isn't a Best Buy- It's kind of a "High Fidelity" kind of shop kind of shop, without Jack Black-really the last of a breed- I always go in there and ask him his opinion on new music- He's great and really excited about new stuff- Glad he is there-
One call while I was in the place where you feed the birds- which was packed to the rafters with people and grossly overfed lorikeets. Obnoxious parents beating their noisy children and while bird shit is flying makes for a difficult working environment. OSHA should really have a standard for this kind of work.
It's hard to balance personal and professional stuff when there isn't that dividing line between an office and home. There is a weird stress you try and switch from focusing your attention from the ones you love to the people that rely on you for your decision making ability professionally.
The only way I can describe it is like trying to change gears when the clutch isn't all the way down (GRRRRIIIIIIIIINNNNNNDDDDD!). Anyone who used to drive a stick shift, knows what I mean-
Tried to take some old VHS's and DVD's into the local record shop, Phils records yesterday- He didn't take anything, but I gave him a Japanese video called "Meet the Fuccons", one of the strangest videos on the face of the planet (I gave it to him because I didnt want to have it in my house anymore, it might be evil)-
He gaves us $3 off a Police Squad DVD. Thought that was pretty cool- He isn't a Best Buy- It's kind of a "High Fidelity" kind of shop kind of shop, without Jack Black-really the last of a breed- I always go in there and ask him his opinion on new music- He's great and really excited about new stuff- Glad he is there-
http://www.philsrecords.com/index.asp?page=home
Trying not to work too much today- We'll see how long THAT lasts.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Better
The heater ended up costing very little to fix- so that was a good thing.
The roof- we are still waiting for a call back- Working with a guy who doesn't multitask real good. Still havent gone up there- I am a coward.
Work is seeping-creeping-leaking into my supposed vacation- sigh. The phone rings and I answer it- my own damn fault. Plus now with phones that send emails (I have a Treo) they get you anywhere and everywhere. No hiding.
Off to the car dealership to drop off the car. Wincing now in anticipation of the bill.
The roof- we are still waiting for a call back- Working with a guy who doesn't multitask real good. Still havent gone up there- I am a coward.
Work is seeping-creeping-leaking into my supposed vacation- sigh. The phone rings and I answer it- my own damn fault. Plus now with phones that send emails (I have a Treo) they get you anywhere and everywhere. No hiding.
Off to the car dealership to drop off the car. Wincing now in anticipation of the bill.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Last night, everything broke
You ever have one of those days, nights and mornings?
Well, you know about the leaky roof. I still haven't gone up there. Too cold and too lazy. Within 24 hours, the DVD in the bedroom broke, the van's check engine light went on and the speedometer stopped working.Then, we noticed that the house's temp never got above 65 degrees yesterday. I thought that Colette was being frugal. TURNS OUT, the furnace is on the fritz! No heat-
We have someone coming at around 10:30. We have sombody else coming by to put a tarp on the top of the house until he can get around to fixing it. I have to tke the car in sometime this week. The furnace for the sun room is still working, so the kids are sleeping there.
Oh yeah, Colette is sick with a cold. Because of Christmas, the house still looks like a bomb went off (stuff laying around everywhere).
Anyway- Bought a new DVD player at Costco. Tried to install it on the TV in the bedroom for about an hour- Gave up becuase the converter we are using on the crappy TV in the bedroon doesnt seem to be working. Installed it on the 20 plus year old beast in sunroom and it worked great.
I am afraid of what else is going to go wrong today. On the plus side, becuase of the Holiday vacation, we are around and able to do the phone calls and wait around for people. On the minus side, its going to cost a lot of money right after the Christmas Holidays.
Bah, Humbug (retro-actively of,course :-)!!
Well, you know about the leaky roof. I still haven't gone up there. Too cold and too lazy. Within 24 hours, the DVD in the bedroom broke, the van's check engine light went on and the speedometer stopped working.Then, we noticed that the house's temp never got above 65 degrees yesterday. I thought that Colette was being frugal. TURNS OUT, the furnace is on the fritz! No heat-
We have someone coming at around 10:30. We have sombody else coming by to put a tarp on the top of the house until he can get around to fixing it. I have to tke the car in sometime this week. The furnace for the sun room is still working, so the kids are sleeping there.
Oh yeah, Colette is sick with a cold. Because of Christmas, the house still looks like a bomb went off (stuff laying around everywhere).
Anyway- Bought a new DVD player at Costco. Tried to install it on the TV in the bedroom for about an hour- Gave up becuase the converter we are using on the crappy TV in the bedroon doesnt seem to be working. Installed it on the 20 plus year old beast in sunroom and it worked great.
I am afraid of what else is going to go wrong today. On the plus side, becuase of the Holiday vacation, we are around and able to do the phone calls and wait around for people. On the minus side, its going to cost a lot of money right after the Christmas Holidays.
Bah, Humbug (retro-actively of,course :-)!!
Monday, December 25, 2006
Hysterical and Useless
I suppose before I continue on with this experiment (aka this blogging thing), and it seems that more people are going to read this- I should explain what that phrase means-
It comes from a song called "Let Down" by a band called Radiohead. Like most of their songs, it's about a certain type of melancholy- kind of a comfortable, wearable melancholy that comes from too many trains, planes and automobiles- daily life for me- Its the feeling you have when you have no control of anything- and you get resigned to it.
The song itself is a kind of a minor masterpiece in that it is written in major chords, layered with beautiful, Beach Boy like harmonies and a building crecendo that is truly astounding.
The chorus talks about "growing wings ", that it will be "a chemical reaction"- a direct reference to Kafka's "The Metamorphosis"- In the story, the main character is a traveling salesman- In one passage he complains:
"The stresses of selling are much greater than the work going on at head office, and, in addition to that, I have to cope with the problems of travelling, the worries about train connections, irregular bad food, temporary and constantly changing human relationships, which never come from the heart."
Some things never change I guess- This story was published in 1916 (see link on side for complete story).
In another of Kafkas work, "The Trial"- it is the impotence of the main character is his guilt and in turn his doom.
I tend to look at the song and I realize that a lot of people live in a "hysterical and useless" state of awareness- living in fear over something they cannot have any possible control over.
Duct taping your doors and windows from a mythical attack by an imaginary enemy- the perfect example of hysterical and useless state of being.
What is the opposite to a hysterical and useless life? The yin to the yang? Would that be calm and purposeful? What a wonderful goal-
I opened up the comment pages- friends and family feel free to comment!
It comes from a song called "Let Down" by a band called Radiohead. Like most of their songs, it's about a certain type of melancholy- kind of a comfortable, wearable melancholy that comes from too many trains, planes and automobiles- daily life for me- Its the feeling you have when you have no control of anything- and you get resigned to it.
The song itself is a kind of a minor masterpiece in that it is written in major chords, layered with beautiful, Beach Boy like harmonies and a building crecendo that is truly astounding.
The chorus talks about "growing wings ", that it will be "a chemical reaction"- a direct reference to Kafka's "The Metamorphosis"- In the story, the main character is a traveling salesman- In one passage he complains:
"The stresses of selling are much greater than the work going on at head office, and, in addition to that, I have to cope with the problems of travelling, the worries about train connections, irregular bad food, temporary and constantly changing human relationships, which never come from the heart."
Some things never change I guess- This story was published in 1916 (see link on side for complete story).
In another of Kafkas work, "The Trial"- it is the impotence of the main character is his guilt and in turn his doom.
I tend to look at the song and I realize that a lot of people live in a "hysterical and useless" state of awareness- living in fear over something they cannot have any possible control over.
Duct taping your doors and windows from a mythical attack by an imaginary enemy- the perfect example of hysterical and useless state of being.
What is the opposite to a hysterical and useless life? The yin to the yang? Would that be calm and purposeful? What a wonderful goal-
I opened up the comment pages- friends and family feel free to comment!
I want a perfect body
Merry Xmas- This is gross, but my tongue is coated with tongue gook. I snuck some pumpkin pie and I can feel the whipped cream hangover- all that and hummus and pretzels right before bed. Last night it was good- this morning, yuck! I need to scrape it against a wall.
Last night I dreamed about interviewing a new person at an company that I started a 16 years ago. In the dream, during interview, outside the office window, a 757 landed down a suburbian street and cut off a bunch of cars as it made a right turn. In the dream it was like normal and my reaction was like- "Huh, look at that. Well, what kind of salary are you looking for Mr. New Person?"
The New Year's LIST OF THINGS to change is already rattling around my subconscious. I can feel the ideas like ball bearings rattling in my brain pan.
Last night I dreamed about interviewing a new person at an company that I started a 16 years ago. In the dream, during interview, outside the office window, a 757 landed down a suburbian street and cut off a bunch of cars as it made a right turn. In the dream it was like normal and my reaction was like- "Huh, look at that. Well, what kind of salary are you looking for Mr. New Person?"
The New Year's LIST OF THINGS to change is already rattling around my subconscious. I can feel the ideas like ball bearings rattling in my brain pan.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Christmas Eve and a Leaky Roof
Well it is here- the day before Christmas- all the baking, shopping, decorating, wishing of good tidings, driving around town like maniacs, traveling through crowded security checkpoints and internal agonizing is nearly at an end- all to be finished off by a flurry of torn wrapping paper with expected smiles of loved ones as a reward.
I promise not to go on a comsummerism rant here- too Grinchy.
Somehow, my "planning brain" woke me at 6am to the thought of taking Spencer tomorrow to the mall parking lot to practice driving. Half asleep I thought to today would be good, then realized that there would still be many people running around like rabid weasels trying to buy the last little shimmery object that would make their loved ones life complete.
Putting a 16 year old into an enviroment like that would be like putting on a headband that had the Japanese Rising Sun and chanting "Tora, Tora, Tora"!
Sometime today, I need to check out the leak in the roof. Came in through the door to tears, I guess a leak in the roof seeped through to the dining room and damaged a clock and a table that had been in the family for years. Not looking forward to trying to get into the crawl space above Ethan's room. "Remember the Christmas Dad broke his (fill in bone of the body here)?"
Let's see if I can leave this blog alone for the rest of the day. I find myself editing this endlessly- I know, Weirdo...
I promise not to go on a comsummerism rant here- too Grinchy.
Somehow, my "planning brain" woke me at 6am to the thought of taking Spencer tomorrow to the mall parking lot to practice driving. Half asleep I thought to today would be good, then realized that there would still be many people running around like rabid weasels trying to buy the last little shimmery object that would make their loved ones life complete.
Putting a 16 year old into an enviroment like that would be like putting on a headband that had the Japanese Rising Sun and chanting "Tora, Tora, Tora"!
Sometime today, I need to check out the leak in the roof. Came in through the door to tears, I guess a leak in the roof seeped through to the dining room and damaged a clock and a table that had been in the family for years. Not looking forward to trying to get into the crawl space above Ethan's room. "Remember the Christmas Dad broke his (fill in bone of the body here)?"
Let's see if I can leave this blog alone for the rest of the day. I find myself editing this endlessly- I know, Weirdo...
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Dont get your hopes up
I have always felt that blogs were sort of a disease- They have always seemed self indulgent, annoying and hopelessly usless. I never understood them- Never saw the point- never took the time either.
So why am I creating one? Could it be to counterbalance all those wankers talking about their dogs, kids and knitting projects- in other words to bring balance to the blogging force? Or perhaps I am just a wanker myself and I want to share my love of cats, worries about global climate change and rampant veganism?
The fact is, I don't know why I am doing this. Today, I stumbled accross a blog of a woman I used to know in Atlanta- It was somewhat startling in its intimacy, yet it made me happy to see how her life turned out. It made me wonder, is it a good thing to publish this kind of information for the world to see? Her life is this little capsule there- full of trials and challenges- but also great joy (married with a new baby). I came close to emailing her, or posting on her blog, only to wish her well- and I stopped myself. Her life is complete now, what possible constructive force could I bring into her world? I thought, is it serving my ego or helping hers? In the end I decided I was just being vain and stupid- and didnt post or email anything.
Since it is close to the end of the year, I guess we all wonder where our lives have been, especially in terms of where we are going. This might be my attempt at some sort of self validation (perhaps instead self-flagilation?).
Or maybe this will just be a travelogue of my travels-
We'll see how well I do at this. I have found that low expectations can lead to pleasant suprises. No guarantees- all warranties are only vaild till something breaks-
So why am I creating one? Could it be to counterbalance all those wankers talking about their dogs, kids and knitting projects- in other words to bring balance to the blogging force? Or perhaps I am just a wanker myself and I want to share my love of cats, worries about global climate change and rampant veganism?
The fact is, I don't know why I am doing this. Today, I stumbled accross a blog of a woman I used to know in Atlanta- It was somewhat startling in its intimacy, yet it made me happy to see how her life turned out. It made me wonder, is it a good thing to publish this kind of information for the world to see? Her life is this little capsule there- full of trials and challenges- but also great joy (married with a new baby). I came close to emailing her, or posting on her blog, only to wish her well- and I stopped myself. Her life is complete now, what possible constructive force could I bring into her world? I thought, is it serving my ego or helping hers? In the end I decided I was just being vain and stupid- and didnt post or email anything.
Since it is close to the end of the year, I guess we all wonder where our lives have been, especially in terms of where we are going. This might be my attempt at some sort of self validation (perhaps instead self-flagilation?).
Or maybe this will just be a travelogue of my travels-
We'll see how well I do at this. I have found that low expectations can lead to pleasant suprises. No guarantees- all warranties are only vaild till something breaks-
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