FRANTIC USA

Sitting in my seat on the way back from Rome yesterday- I was completely shocked by the manors of the American flight attendants on the plane. For a week I was used to seeing slower, more relaxed individuals in service positions. People from the United States seem to move and speak in loud and sweeping gestures compared to Italians, Germans, Finns or Japanese. The women on the plane were brittle and nervous. They didn't seem human- frantic creatures- with an illness of the soul we suffer from here in this country.

We always seem afraid here. The fear soaks us, bends us and twists us- we are always trying to over compensate for some inadequacy- not enough money, not handsome enough, not smart enough. We refuse to be a culture satisfied with who we are.

Mostly because we don't know who we are supposed to be.

We live our lives through pop stars, personalities and sports idols. We can't just be people in this country- we have to look like, smell like, act like somebody who has higher status.

In Europe, I am not sure what status is. I am sure there are name droppers and climbers- but I didnt see any (or don't understand enough Italian to know). Everyone I met seemed pretty much who they were. They accepted their lot in life. They didn't relocate to the other side of the planet- they spent their lives within 40 miles of where they were born. Saw their mothers every Sunday. There is a sense of community there- a sense of belonging to a culture two centuries plus old.

They seemed less afraid. A good lesson to learn- one, I am afraid I didn't learn.

Less than a day after getting back- I was frantic and nervous- back to the paniced pace I left.

Welcome home, I guess....

Time to download In Rainbows from Radiohead---Brilliant! More on that next post...

On the road again

Well, here I sit in Newark NJ- Flight delayed by two hours on my way to Wisconsin.

After a month at home, it is weird to get up at 4:30am, get on a plane and work in another part of the planet. I got so used to waking up in the same bed, eating the same food, seeing the wife and kids everyday- that it is really weird NOT to be working at home- Sigh....

So it goes, again...

EDIT: Got in at midnight after a $55 cab ride-got about 5 hours sleep and back at it again... fun!

Re-entry

Home again from a trade show that started Sunday- Took a xanax before bed- Slept for a few hours. Up now. Trying to see where I belong.

Everyone was home from holiday which I didn't go on because I was working- its always nice to be welcomed home with hugs. The boys are wonderful-

Rentry is always difficult- Adjusting to different rythyms- schedules and emotions of other people can be difficult. I always feel a bit wobbly when I come home. Cranky is another word for wobbily, isn't it?

When you travel, you really don't have to think much about other people. I suppose it's selfish. If you do it too much you become very selfish...

Taking next week off- mostly because my body is telling me so. Not going anywhere, although I don't want to housebound- the temptation to work would be too great.

Thinking art museum, garden and a trip to Grailville- Maybe taking an afternoon and walking their labrynth. The tea room in Obrienville next to the Bon Bonarie is also a thought. I have a couple of art projects lurking in the basement that might creep up. We'll see where that goes.

It is nice to be here-