Why I hate Vegans

Vegans are smug.

Vegans are elitist.

They are strange, skinny and almost always tree hugging flakes that float on the edges of society. They wear PETA shirts. They all get together and have pot lucks and yammer on about how evil the meat and fashion industries are. They don't wear leather shoes, or belts. They like hemp. They like hemp a lot (smoke it, wear it?).

They don't eat honey. They smell like incense.

Question: Would you rather sit next to a Vegan or an Insurance salesman on a 5 hour flight from LA to Boston?

Don't answer.

Then why did I chose to be part of a club that I had no intension of ever joining. I could blame Chris Martin of Coldplay. I saw him a couple of years ago in concert- all hopping around and Energizer bunny like- and yes he is a Vegan. I could blame Thom Yorke of Radiohead, he's one too. I could blame National Geographic and that stupid article about longevity that they published a couple of years ago (almost all the people who lived over a 100 didnt eat meat).

Instead, I will blame my right hand.

About two years ago, I found that I was having trouble closing my right hand. It hurt. Not a little, but a lot. I didnt know if it was arthritis or not. I never went to the doctor to ask. I was worried that he would put me on drugs that I didn't want.

There were also other problems besides that- I weighed about 255lbs, which was great! I was down from an all time high of 280lbs. But I had hit a plateau, no matter what I did, I couldn't get any lower than that.

I also felt like crap. Because I felt like crap- I was crabby too. Funny how that works.

So in November of 2005 after a blood test that showed my blood sugar rising- I made a commitment to lose that extra weight. I read on the internet how people that didn't eat dairy products, had less of an incidence of arthritis. Between Chris, Thom, National Geographic, the internet and my right hand I said- Fuck it.

I'll try this meatless thing.

A year and a half later- No pain in my hand (that cleared up in about two weeks after I quit all meat products). Blood sugar dropped. Lost 38 lbs. Didn't feel like crap anymore. I am told that I am more fun to be around.

All because I stopped eating meat and meat by products.

It's a simple thing, but something that is evokes the strangest reactions from people. It's like I am so odd that I don't eat meat. Why? What difference does it make, if I dont want to eat something that had a hoof or a claw? Why should it matter to anyone other than me?

Only after making the change, did I realize some of the other things- Like about how the meat industry is riddled with diseased animals that the USDA is letting through the system. About the amount of hormonal supplements that is in dairy which is making 10-11 year old girls reach puberty. There is also a chemical in meat that is addictive as well. It's similar to coffee and nicotine.

There is a whole catalog of reasons why eating meat and meat byproducts is bad for you. You know it is- deep down inside- but you eat it anyway.

Cause you like the taste.

Read Michael Pollens "Omnivores Dilemma" for a clear and reasonable take on the whole issue of Industrialized Food. Its not propaganda, he isn't a vegetarian or a vegan, just a good writer. He tries to explain where our food comes from, which is a hard thing to do.

All I know is that for someone my age, I don't ever have indigestion- I am more flexible and in better shape than a lot of people I know. I have more enthusiasm about life, and I have a general sense of well being than I have ever had before.

So I am being smug and elitist. Comes with the territory. But I am not a fanantic about it- that is my saving grace.

In my closet, I have to admit, that I have a PETA shirt too- However it's a little different than most of the PETA stuff out there- No sad eyed baby seals. No rabbits with burning eyes

The shirt says:

People for the

Eating of

Tasty

Animals

I hate Vegans- I need to find another name for it though since I am one.

Any suggestions?